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| I have a MySpace now. If any of you wish, you can contact me on there. Mostly, I'll be updating from time to time, but seeing as more and more of my friends desire me to stay on MySpace, I will. It's easy to join if you don't have an account already. If you want, I would gladly help you. Either e-mail me at EncasedTears992@aol.com, or IM me with the same screen name. I also have yahoo now, so you may use that as well. Taintedwings963@yahoo.com | | |
| How was I to know what would happen if I told him what I am? He already didn't understand me enough to begin with. What would one little secret do? Well, one little secret did a lot. One little secret is going to break us up. And though he may understand, I'm completely heart broken. A small part of me wished to be with him still, to have everything turn out fine. My vision is no longer black and white, though, and for that, I am finally starting to accept what I am. Though the acceptance will only douse the throb, the pain will forever scar my memory...
Severed
I never asked for such an ordeal to be placed in front of me.
I never asked to have such a thing to happen.
In my mind,
The whole world was complete perfection,
My life finally at ease.
And then this happened.
I was forced to chose between my identity,
And the one thing I cared about with my life.
My mind was torn in two,
My heart completely severed.
Who was I to know that I was to decide such a thought,
At such a young age?
Though I know in my heart I made the right choice,
My heart remains in sorrow,
Forever severed in the thought of making a mistake,
Even if I didn't... | | |
| I was horrible to do it, I know. It wouldn't have helped me out any. But it's just pressure to do somethign right for once in my life, only I did something completely wrong. I went to a party last night. It was fun, and even though I actually forgot about my troubles, new troubles kept on popping up. It felt as if I was being stabbed in the back. No, no one hurt me or anything, but I honestly felt singled out. There were couples and all, kissing and laughing, and enjoying themselves. Of course, that's what they're supposed to do at a party, and all, right? I just didn't think that I would actually do what I did. It was horrible or anything. It's not like it would be the end of the world. I'm not going to chain- smoke afterwards. But man, never did I think I would actually do it. *sigh* What am I doing with my life? Am I throwing it away? If I am, then that's exactly what I promised I wouldn't do... | | |
| (Quick, I do apologize for not really commenting back. It's a bit hard on this slow compy. *sigh*)
I know what I am, and I would be proud to say it right now, only if my parents weren't looking on. My final confusion has been solved, but I have another problem to sort out. I haven't a single clue what to do about my boyfriend, since I know for a fact that this will hurt him. I thought about staying with him, but only until I could tell him. I don't really know if I should do that or not, but the idea sticks in my head like you wouldn't believe. Ben, my adoptive brother, tells me I'm wise to think that. Alix, my darling sister, promised that she thinks no less of me because of this. Ally, my strongest sister, also promised that she's always going to be there to catch me if I fall. But who's going to catch Stephen once I break his heart? | | |
| Hey ya'll. I'm back. Off groundation, thank Goddess. But now, I have bigger troubles than what I can handle. I love my boyfriend, Goddess knows how much, and yet I have something wrong with us. More and more my gaze shifts from him over to one of my sisters. I have no intrest whatsoever in guys anymore, and to be honest, that scares me. I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian, but if I am, there's also my boyfriend. I can't tell him, but not telling him would be like living a lie. There's never any click when I'm around him, and when we kiss, there's nothing there. It's just bleh. It was like this when I was with Kris, but I didn't want to even believe it. What am I to do? | | |
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